10. Alarming increase in horse hair weave flash fires.

9. Better bootleg fireworks display on the East side then the official Jack London Square extravaganza.

8. Official start of the “Who makes the best potato salad?” Citywide bragging competition.

7. People pistol whipped citizens are expected to see “stars and stripes” and not “birds and begonias”.

6. Wealthy politicos attend union picnics in cheap suits pretending to be normal, to win votes.

5. Enough left over BBQ rib bones to re construct a herd of Dinosaurs.

4. This year hope to launch a Homie to the moon from Lake Merritt.

3. Anyone dressed like Uncle Sam gets a free lap dance.

2. Raider Nation tailgaters test out new laser bun warming technology.

1. Finding Jose and ask him what he saw by the dawns early light.

10. Ask web master Philly Brian to photo shop 10 Gallon cowboy hat on Doc.

9. Eating fried baloney developing a warm beer and oily corn dog tolerance.

8. Management is text messaging bearded lady so there are no conflicting dates.

7. Work on super secret 5 Alarm Oakland Chili recipes, guaranteed to make you move a colon, to enter into competition.

6. Line dance instead of free form during KYSO.

5. Sensitivity training for newer players Sal and Jerry who may fear Carney’s.

4. New contracts without a “cash or cattle” provision as payment.

3. Remembering that 4 H doesn’t mean; Ho’s, Harleys, Harlots, and Herbs.

2. Forget the “Guess the Fan Weight” segment of the show.

1. Procuring Industrial strength bald dude sun block lotion.